Im content with my life

Hey. Hello. Check this babe out! I realized that..well. Im dateing a model. How sweet is that! Gorgeous and dangerous. Does a guy need any more than that? Oh, don't worry, I havent left Marianne for this cheap Model. Marianne IS this cheap model(smiling evily, 'cause he knows she'll be reading this and he just wants to tease her)
I lay in bed one night, after watching Scrubs. Did I mention that I'm addicted to it? Hadn't seen a single episode before last tuesday..and now..well. I've seen a feeeew more. For some reason the series make me think alot. plus, I watch it in my office. Which means..Im all alone. THAT is a luxery for me these days. I purswayed my boss to let me stay in the office and work or study 'till what ever hour I wanted..as long as I come back for work the day after. I usually do, but he neglected to mention the condition Im supposed to be in..so I stay there..writing..drawing..talking to people or watching Scrubs until 1am...and I have to wake up at 5:55am and go to work through the whole day. Kinda sucks my energy out. But its worth it.
Anyway..so I realised on night I walked out of the office building and looked up at the sky.
We are insignificant in the great picture. Not just us as individuals. Us as a species. I found that comforting. Why? Because I've always been afraid of being forgotten. I wanna do something with my life so I can make a difference and put a mark in the history books. But it doesnt matter! Actually..it was Spore which thought me this. How big the universe is and how impossibly many species or whatever might be out there. They don't matter to us nor we to them. So I guess the reason I find it comforting is..weird as it is..that at least I wont be alone in not mattering. At least my life is good. Its a short life, the one we humans have, and we can't live for hundreds of years. If you then have a good life, be content with it. It could have been worse. I have a wonderful family, girlfriend, friends and "job". We could die at any moment, but Im not afraid of dying. Im not afraid of being forgotten anymore. Because I have this life. The people. And they wouldn't forget. What someone I don't know or will ever meet, who lives 300 years after my death, hell, 1000 years, would think of me, wouldn't matter. I'd still be dead. My legacy will be in everyone who knows me, knew me, or the ones I knew. By living this life, a "normal" life, I will leave the greatest legacy or memory anyone could. A family. Friends. New life.

Another reason why Im so happy is..Im lying in bed, our bed(marianne and me) in our apartment..squeezed between a frog which squeaks and a panda which tries to eat all my marie cookies. My girl is lying by me looking as beautiful as ever, and beautiful music playing in the background.

Content. I am fine

My life. Last year and now.

So I realised that I'd neglected writing here when my girlfriend, Marianne, got her own blogg. Hell, I guess many of you won't even notice this. Some might not care, some might. I suppose I'll give my thoughts and thanks to the ones who does.

In my last post I wrote that I was going into the army to join the special forces. Well. That I did. Stayed there for a month. Ruined my hip, but its starting to recover..After that I joined the "KESK". They're a unit specialized in training other batalions. Basically, they just fight and fight. I was with the KESK for about 3 months. After that I became a military journalist so that I could get an education. Now that I've been here for a while.. Im bored. So...In may Im gonna join the Telemark Batalion. They're the most active batalion when it comes to foreign service and they only recruit professional soldiers. It'll be exiting and hard. I like it. I love challenges..or have you noticed that, perchance?

In my personal life, not much has changed since last time. I've dated my Marianne for a year now(11th of april) and we're still manageing strong.

This pic is from Cold Response..you might not see it at first,
but the shaddows are a shilouette of a
CV9030 tank, I just like the pic

I find it hard to define my life right now. I live at 3 different places(Fredrikstad, Oslo, and the military base Rena), have so many friends in so many places I find it almost hard to cope. The toughest part is that when I'm in the camp, my sivilian life seems..none existant. Its as if Rena becomes a small town and all my friends here(whom I've become really close to due to the things we've gone through together) are.. as close as my oldest friends. I mean no ill by those words. My old ones are not bad, not at all. Its just that they've never done anything with me to bring us close as the new ones. I mean..it takes some trust to be perfectly content having a guy/girl lying behind you shooting with an automatic rifle while you're moving forward infront of 'em.

Another thing is that the ones back home have no idea what we're going through. They don't understand. Why would they? Take my family for example; Dad and my brother Ulf has both been in the army, and know how much I want to be back home, how much you grow to miss everything from your old life. They know how more relaxing it is to sleep in the bed you've slept in for years and see the house you last called home. Mom..don't understand, but she keeps naging and wanting me home(which I want to most of the time) but can't accept the fact that Im living with Marianne. I wanna be there sometimes too. Odd Roald(my oldest brother) respects my choices, but the times he comes from Bergen(which is on the other side of the bloody country) he wants me to be there. I do too. Now the last factor, in what I call my family(if we dont take Sir.Gulliver in count) is Marianne. Love, I want to be with you every weekend, but a tree gotta tend to its roots if its not to tire and wither. Hope you understand. I love you:)

I wont keep badgering. I just want to say to those who are either concerned or almost angry that Im trying as hard as I can to get foreign service...its my choice. I've taken you in concideration. I know I might die. I know you might lose me. The chances for a Norwegian soldier is amazeingly slim(2 have died since 2001 and we've had about 1000 soldiers at all time)and the deaths we've had have just been a stroke of really really really bad luck. Doesnt bode well with my luck, I know, but maybe if I speak irish enligsh, some of the irish luck might rub off on me^^We'll see. Just support me instead of going against me on this. Im doing it. One way or another. If not, I'll just pack up everything I need and sell the rest of what I have, and hit the road. Who knows where I'll end up. I just hope it wont be like the guy from Into the Wild. Though he was ill prepared and rather dim witted and again, unlucky.





If I die, let me just say "sorry" and I'll probably think "damn" when it happens, or "wups!". I won't though. Too stubborn and I still have more too see and experience. I'll only surrender to the void when I have no more to experience and can say to life "Been there, done that"




I love you all. Miss you. And I'll see you in the summer. Are you ready?

Loves

-Corporal Ravendale