Everything that has a beginning has an end

So what once was, is no more. Theres nothing more to say about that. I wished it could continue, but fate, it seems, is still has a fickle finger to poke up my ass.. God damn it. Except that, the fact that Heidi and I are now history, I've picked up a guitar and I've been practecing for about 2-4 hours a day, singing and playing. Dad is teaching me the chords, so maybe in a year or two, I might be good enough to maybe actually play infront of people:P
I hate when something good ends.. especially when you KNOW it has potential. But once you've lost it, do you really want it back? I mean, once you've lost it once, it means you can lose it again, would you really want to take that risk? And, would it be easier to lose it the second time, or harder? Its especially tough when you dont have anyone or anything to blame, to be angry at, or hate. Its... frustrating^^

And the days roll on by

Its been two months since my last update. I just dont think its very important to update, when I geuss baically no one is reading thisXD But I'll do it for the few special ones who might still read it.
First off, Heidi and I've been together for 2 months soon, the upcommin' 1st of Feb. Its been a blissfull two months, we've had christmas and new years eve, which have both been a blast.
School has been gettin' a wee bit better. My grades were mostly A's, two B's and one C.
My cat Gulliver, is getting older and more sick. Poor boy is gonna die on me soon. Thats gonna be heart breakin', and I'm not gonna pretend to be a big boy and not cry about it.. if he dies, I'll be a small kid crying my eyeballs out because I just lost my little brother..
So the only things that have been bothering quite alot is; spanish, heidi's sickness, no snow at christmas nor the whole of january or new years eve.., cleaning my room for no reason, and training basically every second day at the studio and having to eat healthy.. dang it..
Until next time, my dear Americans, love ya all, and hope 't see ya again soon someday

Its a new dawn

When you now look at me, I am no longer just a single man. I am someone bound by a greater force. I dont stand alone anymore. I've got something to aid me in everything I now do. I wish everyone could experience or have that by their side. I guess its something worth fighting for. It was for me. And I will never look back at the battle with regret. What happened, the sorrows and the joys, were all meant to happen, eveyrthing has a meaning, as Laurie once told me, but back then I got pissed off.. now, I know better. She was right. As always^^ Laurie, I owe you one. Good night, Americans, tomorrows morning will be the most beautiful that has ever been seen.

Twitterpated

Im afraid this might be yet another depressing one^^ So if you dont wanna risk to read anything like that, dont read this:)

These past few weeks I've staied up 'till 4am.. now why the hell would I do something like that? Well because Im twitterpated, thats why. And things have been going quite.. smoothly... until today^^

Yesterday we spent the most amazing time in town. Yeah.. I couldda done better, but I guess it was better than nothing. I can reveal there might have been a kiss or two, but I guess we managed to restrain our selves from a major make-out, for when we werent in the middle of a bloody crowd.
When I came home.. I was tired and hungry. I hadnt eaten for a whoel day, almost. But my body was also exhausted because of the cold and the stress. So basically I went to bed and fell asleep.
So now, today, I've still been very exhausted. Not only that, but theres been questions raining from every where if we're now officially together nor not. I'd say I wouldn't mind, but.. I dont know, I feel stupid saying this.. but now that I finally can have something I've wanted for a very long time(her), Im gonna miss the fight for her. Not only that, but its been like.. a major wall between us all day. Shes been quite exhausted too, and slept most of today. I dont know.. I guess I miss her? Im just sad. Sad because I dont have the chance to talk to her. To be with her. To love her, the way she deserves to be loved.. to be treated.. like the queen of cuteness that she is.
Now Im tired, because my mom has given me some pills to help me sleep, so good night, and farewell. Hope y'all have a nice time 'till next time:)

-Egil

Fall Holiday! and boredom

Ok! So I've just had a whole week off from school. Why? Dont really know, but I once heard its some anicent viking, pre-viking sacred week or something(yes we're still barbarians so we follow the heathen ways) so we use that to our advantage and get a week off(who wouldnt)

Its been hell of a week, full of intrigues, parties and fights(yepp fun ones too) We've had our first soccer game on sunday, which went crappy, tho it was fun and I had alot of fun injuring my self again, I guess Im a sadist...not really... And suddenly I cant recall more from what happened that week, except I missed something I should have done or been at, which I've now repaied.. I think.

Now that first part was ranomly written many days ago(like.. 3-4) so I cant remember what happened, or what the hell I was talking about anymore, but it doesnt bother me, if it for some random reason bothers you, complain all you want. Maybe I might even listen to you.

Ok, so my life, as it has always been, has been school, training, choir, and an endless hunt for fun and what not.. Its not really slowed down, but I got some sense knocked into my self today, by my self, dont ask me how the hell that happened, but it did, and it hurt, so Im mad at my self.

Tho something sad is happening, and I cant do anything to change it, I've tried, but I aint.. well his mom. My best friend is about to get kicked out of school because he never bothers to show up, no matter how much everyone complains. I joke about it whenever we're there, but I know school will be a bore if he isnt going to be there for the rest of the year. I mean, who am I now suopposed to make fun of, or joke with?:P Either he is allready out of school, or he has one more day to miss, and he is out.. and will have to take the year over again after summer, when Im in the military. Sucks to be him I guess. At least I tried to help him.. I can find some.. reassurance, and he'll have friends to lean on if he has troubles this year.

Except that, I guess my life is fine and dandy, tho I do have trouble deciding certain things, those who have talked to me lately, might know what Im talking about, and all I can say is that the situation has grown worse, and more hillarious and painful. Its like Im entwining myself into a bush of beautiful roses. So much beauty, wonderfull smell and soft leafs, tho thorns that sting, and I break off vines without meaning it. its a teenagers life I guess

Smelling Like My Mom

Hehe, the title, well I'll explain that eventually, I dont go around smelling like my mom for no good reason.

Ok so I promised a cheerfull one this time, and a blissfull one it'll be then. I just usually just save all my good things and stories for whenever someone I know feels down and I'll think about my good ones to make them look on the bright side of things, and they'll think what most of them do, that I always look on the bright side, but you whose read the previous ones, might(if you cant read, or is completely blind and deaf so no one could read it to you) have noticed I dont do that at all.

Anyways, the past days have been one hell of an adventure. I busted my good old friend Espen with a certain lass I've suspected him being with, having a very.. cozy goodbye at a bus station while I drove by, which made me happy, cause the dude hasnt had many friends lately, and hasnt ever really had a girlfriend. I wish I'll be able to have a cozy goodbye at a bus station yet again, sometime soon.. muwhaha.

Well I have been hanging out with dad alot lately, since mom has been at work, and someones gotta make the food eh? Not only that but we've been biking here and there, no matter how cold it gets, and watch movies until its waaaaay too late for us, and basically have a blast. I love my dad^^.. and mom..

A few days ago I went to the movies(stardust) with Espen and his lass, Ida, and my best friend Andy, and after the movie, we randomly met some.. very good girlfriends of mine I've missed for a while. I love the way when you meet someone you've got immediate chemestry with and have a blast with, and then some time passes, but when you see them again, its like you've never been apart. Heidi and Nathalie, oh yeah baby. Heidi is small, yes, even smaller than you miss Randi, imagine that, but shes older than me! By like.. hmm, shes got birthday in Jan, while I've got in Nov.. figure it out for yer self:P Nathalie looks as if shes at last my age but is 14, I wonder why that is.. hmm..

I think its kinda sick of some of the people I know at my own age to run to the teenage schools(8th-10th grade) and find some girls there just because they're too hopeless and pathetic+desperate to find someone who wont make them look like a pedophile. Nathalie was one of these girls until I knocked some sense into her head a few weeks back. Shes probably not going back down that road.

After a while Heidi and I sat(stood and ran too) and talked for a loooooooooooong time and it was the coziest(if thats a word) time I've had in years. Wouldn't mind having more of those^^

I've been working hard to motivate my self to train too lately, but thanks to a very good friend of mine, whose name shall be kept out of this *caughANDYcaugh* I spend alot of time doing nothing when I could have been doing alot of weird crazy stuff like I used too, like staying up 'till wayyyyyy past bed time to train. Like now, but hey, guess what Im doing, Im writing this instead.. great..

At least he got me into the soccer team a few friends of mine created last year while I was out havin' fun across the pond, tho they needed a new name for our new, beautiful shirts and shorts that we got from the FFK club(which is the best soccer team in norway, mind you), and Andy and I thought "Balls of Fury" would be quite appropriate for our.. team. Basically the whole thing is a bullshit team, but its fun anyway.

Now here is the reason for why I for some reason, smell like my dearest mom. I had my first practice with the team, and took a shower, used the wrong shampoo, and voila! Like I said to someone else earlier today, I hope it wont stick to my my pillow and bed, so that the next.. well.. other person except me, sleeps there, wont freak out and think Im some kinda Odipus kid and run away from me. That'd just be so sad..

Thats basically all for now, I gotta go to bed and rise up early tomorrow/today, so good night 't all ye people, and stay out of trouble and behave. Maybe one day I'll be back to tic you off once again, or desperately try to make you smile once again. Adios mis amigos!

Insomnia

Like someone once said, Im one tradegy after another. Its not me that gets affected, but the ones I love, the ones closest, I always seem to find a way to either loose them or screw things up. I guess it has something to do with me always wanting to complicate things. A friend once said its like with my drawings, I want each one of them to have a meaning, and try to make them as complicated as possible, but if Im not satesfied with what I get, I rip it apart.
If thats how my life is, I sure hope I'll change, and fast too.
My problem now is that I lay for hours, trying to sleep, when I cant, I write, or I just lie there, pondering on the mysteries of life, of my life, and everything around me, the future and the past, why things are the way they are, and what could happen if this and that was done. I think I think too much. Thats probably the source to my "insomnia". I've also gotten sick alot. Probably because Im too much of an idiot to dress according to what kind of weather it is. For me now, its cold, but like dad said, and from what I remember, it gets.. ALOT colder. I hope I just dont end up with pnumonia again.
I feel exhausted. Not because of my lack of sleep, but my body, my mind is beeing run down by everyone and everything around me. People expect me to be someone Im not, and sometimes I become exactly what people want, but its not me. It is as if I've become two entierly different people. Thats probably not a good thing, but as long as Im aware of it, and dont give them two different names, they cant put me in a mental hospital^^
Except all that my life is school, training and writing. The weekends are filled with friends and fun, but the weekdays I spend mostly by my self or with my friend Andy, whose got a better understanding of things than the people here. I think my life is fine as it is, but at the same time, I feel it could be more. Everyone probably has those thoughts sometimes eh? Delutional dreams of greatness and fame. Tho I wouldnt want fame.. hell no, I'd rather be unkown, poor and free to roam as I please than rich and stalked.
I guess thats it for now, sorry for the this awefully depressing blogg, I'll make it up to you guys, I promise;) Im just tired, and need more than 1 and a half hour sleep for once. Good night